Toad’s Weekly Assessment #55

It weird, although I do identify as sliding into hypomania, I don’t feel as though I have a ton of energy exactly beyond not feeling sleepy at bedtime until the end of the week. Been binge watching Gotham with Dad but by the time Saturday rolled around irritation reared its ugly head and I told him I had to call it quits and go to bed early. Everything just ached. No idea if the letter had more to do with it than the lack of sleep or what, but I don’t care. I still need to finish up the portfolio and I feel like life is caving in on me where everything is happening next week. It’s too much.


Mood Score Key:

Sliding Hypomania = 1  ~ Hypomania = 2 ~  Mania = 3  ~  Baseline (My Normal) = 0

Sliding Depression = -1  ~  Depression = -2  ~  Severe Depression = -3

M = Mixed State ~ H = Hypersexuality Present

Energy Score Key:

Low = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  High = 1

Irritation Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Anxiety Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3

Migraine Score Key:

None = 0  ~  Mild = 1  ~  Moderate = 2  ~  Severe = 3 ~ Extreme = 4 ~ Aura Present = A

Sleep Quality Score Key:

Bad = -1  ~  Normal = 0  ~  Great = 1


Special Notes for the Week

Menses Start Date: 8/8/2017

Weigh-In at Med Clinic: ~


Sunday ~ August 6, 2017

Mood: 1H ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 1am, up at 5:30am – 4.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • forgot meds

Meals

  • 3 cups of coffee
  • 1 bowl of macaroni with marinara

Notes

  • debating whether or not to add hypersexuality symptoms to the mood tracker – it’s one thing to talk about some of the symptoms and the distress and loneliness it causes, but to add it on here and give it a numeric scale for severity feels like I’d be baring my soul in some way that I’m not already (almost as if I’d be begging for predators to find me – yes, I’m that fucking paranoid even though I don’t use real names on this blog for that very reason) but I also know that this isn’t exclusive to Bipolar, it can also be a symptom of PTSD believe it or not, so how often does it occur in me? how is it clinically defined vs. how I perceive it?

Monday ~ August 7, 2017

Mood: 1H ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: could not stay in bed most of the night so no idea what time I fell asleep, up at 6am

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 8am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 8pm

Meals

  • 3 cups of coffee
  • 2 slices of cheesecake (the pre-cut kind from Walmart)

Notes


Tuesday ~ August 8, 2017

Mood: 1H ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 10pm night before, up at 4am – 6 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 9pm

Meals

  • 4 cups of coffee
  • 1 medium cup of coffee from gas station
  • 2 cheeseburgers on wheat bread with lettuce, tomato, and onion
  • small bag of microwave popcorn
  • 1 hamburger patty

Notes

  • Therapy Tuesday – she did think it would be a good idea to track the hypersexuality somehow, so I’ve decided to tag it as a letter with the mood state for now

Wednesday ~ August 9, 2017

Mood: 1H ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 0 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 4am, up at 6:30am – 2.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 9pm

Meals

  • 4 cups of coffee
  • leftover chicken and fresh pineapple
  • small bag of microwave popcorn

Notes

  • Tuxedo Cat’s piano practice – found out about the open source MusicScore program for him from the teacher so I installed it on his PC

Thursday ~ August 10, 2017

Mood: 1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at midnight, up at 6am – 6 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

  • 5 cups of coffee
  • 1 large Kosher dill pickle
  • 1 handful of fresh picked blackberries
  • 2 breaded chicken patties w/ lettuce, tomato, and onions on white buns and 1 small handful of corn chips

Notes

  • Little Bear seemed more energetic than me today and by 2pm I was just done with the day and ready to crawl in a cave of some kind – shame that I don’t have one, but knowing my luck the boys would find me anyway

Friday ~ August 11, 2017

Mood: 1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 1 ~ Anxiety: 0 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 1am, up at 6:30am – 5.5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 7am
  • 75mg Topamax @ 7pm

Meals

  • 5 cups of coffee
  • chili w/ cheddar cheese
  • mac & cheese

Notes


Saturday ~ August 12, 2017

Mood: 1 ~ Energy: 0 ~ Irritation: 2 ~ Anxiety: 2 ~ Migraine: 0

Hours of Sleep: bed at 1:30am, up at 6:30am – 5 hours total

Sleep Quality: 0

Exercise Activity: ~ Exercise Time:

Meds Taken

  • 75mg Topamax @ 7:30am

Meals

  • 4 cups of coffee
  • chicken nuggets and potato puffs
  • 1 cup of fresh picked blackberries

Notes

  • received the court date for the Case Management Conference in the mail today – it’s the required meeting with the Family Law Magistrate to state where Little Bear will be living while the divorce and custody hearings proceed and what we agree and disagree on – if we don’t agree on where he will be living during the court proceedings we will have to go through mediation before anything else can happen and from the sounds of things we may be able to speed things up if we happen to agree upon everything – supposedly we do but I still worry that he will try to pull a fast one on me

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