Bipolar Life is not Linear

I Don’t Look Lost, But I Am and I Need Hope

This is me. Past, present, and future. My life has never been a straight line. My life has always been a cycle. It seems every time I find myself at a cross roads, I am faced with fear. Which way do I go? What if I fail? What if I get lost? What if I can’t find my way? What if this is the point of no return? So many “what if” questions it makes my head spin. Often times I linger here at the cross roads like it’s some kind of depot or resting point. Some reason it’s always easier for me to let it be for awhile and wait for a light to shine in the fog to show me where I need to be. It’s hard when you feel like you can’t trust your own mind. It’s hard when you feel like your brain runs on broken logic.

There does come a point however when you can push forward, like a sprout pushing through the shell of a seed. Yes, there will be people that don’t understand the need for self care or even comprehend what it looks like. They will be the ones that will urge you to push forward before you’re ready. They are the ones that forget what happens to the butterfly when you break open its cocoon instead of allowing it to do so on its own. Some things we just have to do our own way in our own time. We do not owe this to anyone. We will fly again when it’s time.

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